Atheist Parents: Parenting Without Belief
Welcome To Atheist Parents.org!
Thank you for visiting the new internet site of www.atheistparents.org. We are dedicated to helping parents worldwide to raise well-educated, thoughtful, ethical, socially responsible, environmentally aware, and most importantly, godless children. Your journey as a parent raising atheist children will definitely not be as easy as saying "Cuz Jesus made it that way," or "The devil made me do it." Yet as your children grow up as educated atheists in a world without gods, without fear of eternal damnation for thought crimes as an 8 year old, they will thank you in more ways than you can imagine.
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Sign up for the "Atheist Parents Newsletter" (sent approximately 4 times a year) and get up-to-date information on raising Atheist Children.
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Home Schooling Without Religion? Almost Impossible!
3 Reasons Why Humanist Homeschoolers Help Is Going To Change Secular Homeschooling
1. Public perception about American homeschoolers is that they are generally religious. This is fairly accurate and so most curricula is authored, published, sold, and used by Christian
homeschoolers. Secular homeschooling families traditionally have to rely on non-textbook resources, texts written and published overseas, or heavily edited copies of Christian curricula. Humanist
Homeschoolers Help will provide a low-cost option for many families who need a quality secular resource for their homeschool. Our goal is to get as many secular families matched up with a secular
resource (one that they may not even know exists!) as possible.
2. Secular resources in this country are new enough that they are often pricey even when used. Humanist Homeschoolers Help intends to take on that burden of purchasing curricula and books so that
more families can have access to what they need. To Continue Reading Click Here
The Interview with Lance Gregorchuk Author of „Born Again Atheist“
AP: Hello, Lance. Your new book, “Born Again Atheist: The Arguments for the Facts,” has now been released by Enlightened Publishing and you have described the book as a real “Game Changer.” Why do you think that?
LG: Well, like my last book, I wrote this one for my children. As you know, I wrote my children’s book “Great Without
Religion” two years ago so I could teach my children at a young age about the scientific method, about understanding facts and fiction, fairy tales and religion. My kids...
Continue reading by clicking here
Get your Free Chapter
Get your free Chapter "The Ten Commandments" from the book Born Again Atheist by Lance Gregorchuk by clicking here and get a "laugh out loud funny" insight into Lance Gregorchuk's newest book on religion, belief systems, and the arguments for the facts.
The Interview with James S. Morrison
The public high school teacher in the USA who teaches a course in religion????
AP: Teaching religion in public schools must be extremely rare, right?
JSM: It is. Typically when I tell people I teach a religion class in a public high school they look at me as if I had just barbequed a kitten. Liberals immediately become skeptical and concerned that I’m some sort of Jesus freak preaching Christian dogma. Evangelicals react with the same kind of skepticism, but their immediate concern is that I’m an atheist trying to discredit God and Jesus. Needless to say, I usually shy away from telling people what I do for a living.
AP: Are you an atheist?
JSM: People ask me this all the time, and I hesitate to answer it. But the fact that we have words such as “atheist” and “agnostic” and “deist” speaks to the importance we put on . Continue reading click here
Thank you Cynthia for letting us re-print your blogg
An funny and sad story all at once: "Two Faced Jesus"
I was 14 years old before I had my first encounter with Jesus Christ. Up to that point, I had heard enough about the basic story to get around in the world—born on Christmas, raised from the dead on Easter, and the whole “Born of a Virgin” thing. But I never had to deal with JC directly until my father “found him” after his second failed marriage.
Up until then, I had been raised by my agnostic mother and militant atheist grandmother, who believed that the very notion of a make-believe man in the sky was for the weak-minded. We celebrated Christmas—by celebrate.... Read more by clicking here
If you are currently weighing your options as a parent as to which god or denomination you should raise your child to believe in, then you might be interested in the following:
If a god can be defined as: "a supernatural creator and overseer of the universe," then we must include in this definition all deities, goddesses (very big god word for female gods) and
supernatural beings. To differentiate between old mythological gods from hundreds and thousands of years ago and modern gods is unnecessary to answer the question "What is a God?”The fact that in
Western societies we might prefer to use JHWA, Jehovah, God, or Allah is irrelevant in the question of god, since every belief worldwide is convinced that only their god is the right god.
Children are born atheists. They are born without belief; their belief in a god comes ONLY from their parents’ beliefs, which are also determined from the century in which they were born and the
country in which their parents were born.
Since the beginning of recorded history, which is defined by the invention of writing by the Sumerians around 6,000 years ago, historians have cataloged over 3,750 supernatural beings, of which
2,870 can be considered deities or gods. Yet, those numbers are probably a very conservative estimate because we have no accurate written information before 4000 B.C. This means any deities or
gods worshipped by man before this period are unaccounted for.
In truth, the possibilities for gods are nearly infinite. For example, in Hindu the entire living universe is merely a unique manifestation of Ishvara. This leads to the fact that there are 340
million "gods or goddesses" which you can pray to right now.
Some examples of the different deities documented through the last few thousand years are:
Greek: Zeus, Hermes, Hades, Hera, Aphrodite, and so many others
Chinese: Shangdi, Mazu, Shou Xing, Tu Di Gong, etc.
Roman: Juppiter, Mars, Terra, etc.
Norwegian: Odin, Thor, Loki, Njordr, etc.
Hindu: Krishna, Vishnu, Kali, Ishvara, etc.
Shinto: Izanagi-no-Mikoto, Izanami-no-Mikoto, etc.
Celtic: Cernunnos, Damona, Epona, etc.
Egyptian: Ra, Isis, Anubis, Osiris, Horus, etc.
Sumerian: An, Ki, Enlil, Enki, etc.
Babylonian: Sin, Marduk, Ishtar, Nabu, etc.
Persian: Simurgh, Rostam, Gaokerena, etc.
Aboriginal: Bunyip, Kurreah, Mutjinga, etc.
Yet, it must be noted that the dominant monotheistic religions of today who declare that theirs is the only REAL and true god, say that their religion must be better because in the past people
believed in many gods and now they only believe in one (meaning less is more). Therefore, atheism is the ultimate form of the advancement of religion. From many gods to few gods, to one god, to
no gods. Isn’t Evolution an amazing thing?

Write a comment
Comments: 67
Kaijla (Wednesday, 08 February 2012 01:09)
I absolutely love this! This was a great idea and very well done!
Amadeus (Sunday, 04 March 2012 18:46)
Although I am an agnostic atheist, raising children as atheists is IMHO not much better than raising them as theists.
Yes, lets give them all necessary tools to be able decide what to believe and what not at an appropriate age. But telling them "there are no gods" before they even know the concept of believing is kind of missionary as well.
Chad Kittrell (Sunday, 04 March 2012 19:51)
As a father one one 5year old girl going to school in a predominantly Catholic area, I'm constantly frustrated when she comes home and tells me about the things she 'learned' in school that day. Anyone claiming that 'God is not allowed in our public schools' has obviously not been inside of a school lately, and is using this line as a justification for their own political/religious agenda. Thank you for starting up this website, I will be visiting often!
Tiktaalik (Sunday, 04 March 2012 20:10)
Amadeus:
Raising your children as an atheist IS giving them the tools they need to decide.
It doesn't mean you tell them outright "there is no god." That's not what atheism is, at any rate. Atheism is the LACK of a belief, so what exactly would I be doing that you believe is so similar to theism??
I am raising my kids "as atheists", that is: I have not brainwashed them about deities either existing or not existing. I simply haven't talked about it. Instead, I'm teaching my boys how to THINK critically.
I think you misunderstand what an atheist is; either that or you are making an unnecessary logical leap into thinking that "raising as an atheist" means some kind of indoctrination??
IN the same way that I'm not pounding it into my boys' head that leprechauns are fake, I'm also not doing so in relation to deities or unicorns or fairies (tooth and other kinds too!)
Amadeus (Monday, 05 March 2012 09:45)
Hey Tiktaalik,
"Raising your children as an atheist IS giving them the tools they need to decide."
Sorry, but this is not true. Children are non-theists as well as they are non-tooth-fairyists unless they are told different.
The tools are:
- being sceptical
- use your senses and logic
- think critical before you believe implausible stories to be real
AND:
- telling them about people who in spite of better knowing DO believe in supernatural things to prevent them to believe as well.
ok sorry i start splitting hairs.
i think at the end of the day we don't have much different about this issue.
Jim Japes (Wednesday, 07 March 2012 13:44)
I'm a grandpa to kids in Christian schools. They sure get brainwashed, but Atheists have a problem in matching the centuries old and improving methods of religious indoctrination. I have a doc on www.daretoreason.info suitable for older kids 11-12 up. The problems start younger than that. We need Lullabies, fairy tales ( they're only fiction),that are set to traditional old formats and melodies for babies & kindergartens - all without any religious reference. Plagiarise them from other religions if necessary. There's no copyright.
Jason (Thursday, 08 March 2012 09:42)
@Jim Japes. I am not sure atheists need to match their religious indoctrination, I think we can keep the traditions of Christmas and easter alive but just let the children know why it is celebrated on dec 25th ( dec 21st being shortest day of year.. sun stays at same position on horizon for 3 days, and on Dec 25th raises again, after the belt of orion, known as the 3 kings, aligns with the star sirius showing the exact position the sun will raise on December 25th. Easter being celebrated on the first sunday after the first full moon after the spring soltice.) Pretty Pegan Stuff here. My kids love to tell those stories to teachers when they are asked about Christmas and Easter in school, my son who is 8 did a school presentation about the tradition of christmas, he made me so proud, and other kids in his class are now questioning their parents faith and their pagen rituals. I think his teacher will not give that assignment ever again.
Jim Japes (Monday, 12 March 2012 10:46)
Hi Jason, Indoctrination is simply taking in the environment around babies & children. They don't know if they are being indoctrinated for the better or worse. For example,saying prayers will become a question for them from other children, probably before a teacher gets to them. I worry that it's a "nice" easy thing for them to be exposed to. Non-religious parents should be prepared for a substitute answer & direction. Its dangerous ground to even be "prayerfully wishing" Father Xmas to bring them something. I'd prefer to say "No we read a nice story to go to sleep. Thats better than saying prayers, because no-one ever hears them anyway." Stating the obvious? Sorry. Yes, I can see that Easter & Xmas have become so commecialised that it should be relatively easy for adults to not go into the details, but its the other kids, media etc that will do the baby Jesus stuff."They are fairy tales, not true stories"
Jim.
Ryan (Friday, 06 April 2012 11:22)
As a new parent I worry about what I will do when the time comes that my son asks me what god is. I can remember as a kid when i still believed in god there was a girl during recess one day who made some offhand comment about how Jesus couldn't have been a perfect person and I along with every other kid on the play ground began to berate her about this and make fun of her. I don't want my son to go through that when one of his friends brings up god and he says something like "Psh you believe that crap?".
I have so many questions. If I don't pretend that there's a god at all for him at least while he's very young, should I also not pretend there's a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny? I guess I'm mostly worried about what other kids will say to him about his beliefs. My wife and I said before he was born that we would just not even mention it and wait for him to ask us and explain it to him in the way we understand it. Now though, I'm not sure if that would work.
Jen (Friday, 06 April 2012 12:23)
@Ryan, There is a big difference between Santa and the easter bunny, unicorns, lepracons, the tooth fairy and the non-belief in a god. Your kid will without a doubt be made fun of for hundreds of things on the playground, he will be too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, too slow, he wont wear the right clothes or sneakers, wears glasses or anything else. Kids make fun of other kids, that will never change. I love the fact that my son at 7 years old could and can discuss religion with those who believe (including adults) and within only a few minutes has them questioning their faith. Yes, as an atheist I have helped him along but he thinks people who believe have every right to beleive what they want as long as they keep it to themselves, when they do bring it up, I will not allow him to be bullied, he pushes back! His favorite is The fairy Tail of Noahs Arc, he asks people if they believe it? If they answer yes he asks "then what about the fish?" When they cannot answer he says "and Kangeroos, how did they get to Australia?" I personally love discussing religion with him. Good luck to you.
Haley (Monday, 23 April 2012 18:23)
Just stumbled across this in hopes that I can answer my 3-yr old's question "what is god?".
Uugh, we said "someone pretend that some people think is real. we know it's silly!"
Haven't found anything more eloquent and simple for his level of understanding yet. I'm sticking with it.
I commented to say that we don't do Santa/EasterBunny/Tooth Fairy or any of that other nonsense.
Wes (Thursday, 26 April 2012 00:08)
@Haley:
When my child asks, "Who is Hades?" I will respond,"The Greek god of the Underworld.The Greeks believed he ruled the underworld, etc" Just as I would any other god, so likewise when my child asks, "What/(Who) is God?" I'll answer, "The Christian god of the Universe. Christians believe He is the creator of all things, and sent his son, yadda yadda, yadda."
As a child I never believed Zeus was real, but I was taught to understand that the Greeks did believe, and that was a time before science could explain the unexplainable. Likewise, this is how I will teach my children about Christian Mythology. - isn't this what we really should be calling it????
amy (Friday, 11 May 2012 06:01)
We are atheists, but have made the mistake of not counter-indoctrinating our son adequately. We never raise the concept of gods--why would we (I thought). But now, at 7.5, he's being intensively evangelized by a christian friend at school. He comes home waxing about the beauties of heaven. (And wonders if he could convince jesus to give him a device to transport his atheist parents to heaven even though they don't believe, gotta love when they mix in the other varieties of science fiction.) I fear that if I'm too reactive (which I feel), it will only make the friend's beliefs more glamorous. Any BTDT advice? As soon as the ethical humanists are back in session in the fall, we'll get him there. I just never expected the religious peer pressure to be so strong this young.
pim (Sunday, 27 May 2012 13:58)
i am an atheist, just show the child.
this is evedince,
this is science.
this is what some people belive (religion). and why they believe it.
and why you do not.
let it think for its self. and raise him to be skeptical and openminden.
but most importantly a moral person.
because believes not matter. aslong as they do not negatively influence your life
deeds > believes
Shaun (Monday, 11 June 2012 23:11)
There is nothing wrong with telling a child "there are no gods". Just like you can safely tell a child "there are no fairies" or "there is no bigfoot". Because those things are TRUE. Saying that telling children "there are no gods" is similar to Christian proslytization is ridiculous. The burden of proof lies on the party making the positive statement. If you say "Vampires are real." then it's your job to prove it. Not mine. I feel pretty comfortable saying to my
kids, "Vampires don't exist." Just because you can't prove something doesn't exist, doesn't mean it does. I have no problem with people believing in whatever god they choose, in my opinion it's just intellectual laziness and fear. As long as you're not using your belief in fairy tales to affect my family in any way, we're good.
Leslie (Tuesday, 10 July 2012 19:20)
In the cartoon above of the religious figures pointing fingers at a young child, the figure on the far left looks Buddhist. Buddhists, by definition, are atheists. Does atheism mean not believing in a god? Or not believing in any doctrine/religion/philosophy?
Stephanie (Sunday, 22 July 2012 01:00)
a·the·ist
noun
a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/atheist?s=ts&ld=1065)
I think I'm going to let my children reserve judgement. I share some of the same fears as Ryan, above. The only thing I hope to do as a parent is to educate my child, and I think Wes is on the right track...just inform the child about anything/everything they are interested in...(and maybe even some they aren't, so they have a wide array of general knowledge) and treat them all as fictional if your child questions you on your beliefs on the subject...? I have issue with the religious content in public school as well...I don't want someone telling MY kid that so-an-so IS THE WAY IT IS. The idea that this could take place really irritates me...
One question I would pose to the general "atheist" here is...how do you feel if your child IS open-minded, well-rounded, and has done tons of research on many different religions...and somehow, they decide they want to have faith in the Christian God? What is the reaction? Do we still have the same open-minded view toward our now-Christian children? I would like to think I would...I pride myself on being accepting...and I certainly would not love my child any less for being gay, Christian, or really really into Country music. Thoughts?
Steph (Sunday, 29 July 2012 18:10)
I have the problem of simply just believing in the most logical reason. At 5 years old I began questioning my family's religion. Came out to my family after 20 years of anxiety of the whole thing as an atheist. And of course my answer to their whys is not satisfactory to them. My reason is simply because its not logical. So I now feel the need to instead of waiting for my kids to be influenced by my family's radicalism to give them a good boost and
Help them to argue and question everything. How do I do this? My kids are 3,4 and 5. I don't want them to experience the same anxieties I had to endure for years by myself.
P. S. (Friday, 10 August 2012 19:36)
I am an atheist with two well-adjusted children who are 17 and 14. I have taken the stance that belief in God or a certain religion is their choice. I tell them the reason I believe or rather do not believe as I do and encourage them to follow their own hearts. We have gone to church when visiting friends and family who are church goers. And I tell them I believe there are good things in religion such as some of the 10 commandments, do not lie, steal, kill, etc, and "treat others like you would like to be treated" - that all people should live by. I explain that no one should have the right to tell them or anyone else what to believe because it is a personal choice. No one walking this earth knows anything concrete or irrefutable about God and as soon as they say they do they should not be trusted. Maybe we were created but God, if there is one, is staying out of the picture and letting us figure things out for ourselves. Maybe the more we understand about the world we live in the closer we come to God. On the topic of death I told them it is the path in life we all follow. No one has ever come back except those who had near death experiences and seem to have enjoyed it. Life is short so live it with wonder, love, and friendship.
Dawn (Friday, 17 August 2012 02:02)
Thank you for the great info - having 2 young boys 9/11 - the questions are starting. They are very aware of our beliefs as atheists , but will come to their own choices. Thanks for the wonderful words of advice!
Saddened (Tuesday, 21 August 2012 20:13)
While I'm not entirely surprised, it is rather disturbing to see a resource available for non-believers to push atheism on to their children. I do understand every parent has the right to raise up their child(ren) in his/her own way, but the entire concept of parental roles is defined right in the Bible for both the father and the mother. How do you explain that away? How do you explain that which cannot be proven by science and fact because it transcends our understanding?
Yes, I do know that I am in the absolutely wrong forum to bring these things up, but on the other hand, I hope that by relaying that atheism does not in itself disprove the existence of God that maybe some parent who is "on the fence" may realize that they do NOT know everything. They would be doing a huge disservice to their own child to work hard to disprove the existence of God while feverishly trying to explain away their child's questions about the creation of the universe, why we're here, how good and evil co-exist and why, everyday miracles that do happen, prayers answered and people posting about it on social media (like Facebook) - attesting to the power of prayer, and so on and so forth.
I'm not putting down atheists, so please don't read into this as a call to reply in anger or defense. What I am attempting to accomplish here is to prevent the soul-stealing actions of parents to their own children when they themselves cannot definitely answer all questions to completely disprove the existence of God. And my hope is that this reaches at least one parent who may be on the fence to realize that perhaps s/he needs to take a second look at whether or not living a life without faith in a higher power is really the best path for their own child's benefit.
No preaching or biblical references necessary here. I'm simply reaching out to those who may be considering this concept of parents teaching their children to counter the belief of the existence of God to be a great idea (or those who already have). I want those parents to really take a moment and search deep down inside for that small voice pleading with you to not steal the soul of your own sons or daughters - and maybe, just maybe - the memories of the miracle of the birth of your children will help you to realize what life is all about, why we are here, and our roles as parents to spiritually guard our children - even if it means that someday atheism for the parent is questioned and replaced with faith in a loving God *because* of your children.
Eric (Monday, 27 August 2012 11:34)
@Sadddened.
Seriously? You find it disturbing that people who do not believe in talking donkeys and snakes, who teach their children that the earth is NOT 6000 years old and there is no magic man in the sky is disturbing? I also really love the roles of mother and father you talk about in the bible is your favorite I Timothy 2:11-14 "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I don’t permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner”
Yes you are right your book of fairy tales does tell men they have authority over women, but atheists simply do not want garbage like that taught to children. And Im just wondering what you think cannot be answered by science? I think we have it all figured out now, there really isnt much left you know.
To be clear atheism is not a religion in the same way non-belief in unicorns doeant mean I actually think there may be unicorns but cannot prove it. You define atheist in the only way you know how because you believe in a imaginary friend, you think we just don't believe in it, but you cannot define atheism like that!
Now I am pleading with you, please teach your kids that there is no person watching them, there is no hell as punishment when they do not do what your god wants them to do, that they cannot be punished for thought crimes (though shallt not covet remember). When an atheist listens to your logic it is like being the only sobber guy in a room full of drunks who keep telling him to have a drink because it feels so good. If you want to drink the cool-aid go ahead, but if want my personal oppinion, teaching that crap to children is child abise and should be punished as so.
Carrie (Tuesday, 04 September 2012 04:29)
My son is almost six and is now starting to ask questions about jesus and heaven... Unfortunately most of our family are catholic and have been talking to him about this. I'm just not sure how to answer his questions...
Lee (Thursday, 13 September 2012 12:12)
The problem with the children are born atheists argument is that you are making an assumption for ALL people for ALL ages. You can't make that assumption and expect a logical person to agree since no one has asked ALL people for ALL ages if they believed in a god or the God only after someone taught them to believe. What if you are simply ignorant of the truth and wrong? Could that be remotely possible?
Lance Gregorchuk (Thursday, 13 September 2012 17:14)
@Lee: How can you believe that a child sometime in history was born believing in a god or gods? Are you actually trying to say that a child was born with faith? Do you mean like a caveman believing in the sun god? Atheists are not ignorant and trust me we are not wrong on this one either!
K. (Saturday, 15 September 2012 03:04)
My family recently found out that my husband and I (I am almost 29 and he near 30) are Athesits. We have a son that turns 4 in a few weeks. Just a few minutes ago, our son told us that my grandma told him that my grandfather "went to the sky and is now in heaven." My husband and I were both in a state of shock, as we were not quite ready for that kind of claim from our child.
In addition to that, we honestly felt like our family would respect our views and not try to sprinkle a small child's mind with religious babble at such a young age. When my husband and I told our son that people do not go into the sky, he was quick to tell us that we were wrong because his grandma told him it was true.
At this point, I'm not really sure what to say to him. He is a smart kid...should I just let it be at this point and speak to him later on in life? I am baffled at this point. Any advice from other Atheist or Athesit-Agnostic parents are welcomed.
Lee (Sunday, 16 September 2012 00:02)
You are the one who made the argument and used it as a reason for your own beliefs. Belief in a Supreme Being, Creator or gods of some sort has been widespread through the ages. You want to label all of that belief in the "learned only" column. Yet you can't because you haven't the evidence. If you want super natural evidence of an untaught tribe teaching the Genesis account as well as God working in the life of an idol worshiper, you could look at the Samuel Morris Story: http://www.taylor.edu/about/heritage/samuel-morris/the-samuel-morris-story.shtml as well as more info on Prince Kaboo aka Samuel Morris at http://scripture-truth.homestead.com/samuelmorris.html
Lee (Sunday, 16 September 2012 00:12)
Hi again Lance. Here is an article that disputes this site's claim that children are born atheists. It says there are cultures where children were not taught to believe in a god at all and yet many do. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/3512686/Children-are-born-believers-in-God-academic-claims.html
Lance Gregorchuk (Sunday, 16 September 2012 18:16)
@Lee: Seriously? That is probably one of the most crazy stories I have ever heard and I have heard a lot! Why don't you throw in a beanstalk and you might have a new religion, maybe you could become the high priest and tell people what to do and what to think, how to dress and what to eat, who to love and who to hate, and what is right and what is wrong! To argue againt someone who thinks that children are not born atheists for me is like arguing against someone who thinks children are all born speaking chinese. Lee, you are arguing the absurd and you are making yourself look like a really crazy religious person right now trying to promote some new crazy religion!
Josh (Wednesday, 26 September 2012 19:43)
I was pleased to come across this website. My children, aged 7 and 4 are essentially being raised atheist. My wife and I both come from jewish parents though we both consider ourselves atheist. My wife considers herself both jewish and atheist. I struggle with that. It seems hypocritical to be both. At any rate, we are interested in providing the history and culture without the religion. But again, where do you draw the line between history and myth?
Ags (Monday, 01 October 2012 18:38)
So far I have not read any stories here from people that have actually lived through the experience of being brought up as an atheist child with atheist parents. My siblings and I were raised by a very loving, caring yet staunchly atheist father. For anyone curious, here is my short story of that experience.
I can tell you now, that being told by your father repeatedly at a young age that "there is no God" is psychologically damaging.
I remember the exact moment this happened as a huge trauma. I asked what happens when people die, and they just pretty much said "Nothing, you just get buried in the ground and become part of the dirt, there is nothing beyond", and then when I started crying, terrified of what they had just told me "it's nothing to fear about, it's a natural part of life, everyone dies and that's it, there's no Heaven". This is my earliest memory as a child, and I cried and cried.
I can tell you now from the experiences of me and my brothers, (and other religious young cousins my father tried to indoctrinate Atheism into), that this is traumatising for a child.
Yes of course it's true that children are not born knowing there is a God, but that does no make them atheist. It is natural for human beings to question their existence and purpose on this Earth, it is natural to be inquisitive about spirituality and/or whether there is a higher power.
By the fact that my parents told me repeatedly through childhood that "There is NO God" as if it's an actual fact, it was just as indoctrinating as parents forcing religion on their child. I grew up thinking that anyone with a religious belief was stupid, and that I was more intelligent (and superior) than them for knowing the real truth about religion.
This has produced in me and my siblings a huge struggle in our spiritual identities way into adult life. I have a constant battle occurring in my head when it comes to spiritual beliefs. I actually really want to believe, a lot of my life points me towards leading a spiritual life (I am intensely curious about spiritual things), yet I hear this constant voice from my dad "There is no God, you are stupid if you believe in God" "Only people who are dumb and can't think for themselves believe in God, don't be ridiculous".
You know what? It's like the choice to believe was taken away from me.
Doesn't this sound a little bit similar to religious indoctrination?
Anyways, all I have to say it this. You do NOT have the facts to disprove the existence of a higher power or spirituality.
Please, if you have kids and don't want to bring them up with religion that perfectly fine, but please don't force atheism on them. Whatever you do, don't tell them that you know for a fact that there is no God.
Let them decide for themselves in their own time. You can tell them what you believe, but also tell them that other people believe in different things, and that it's ok and they have a right to choose for themselves what they believe in. If they ask wether there's a Heaven, don't say and outright "NO". Tell them that you don't believe in one, but tell them that a lot of people do believe so, and that it's ok.
Lance (Monday, 01 October 2012 20:11)
@AGS: Wow what a story! I was just wondering if you cried as hard when he told you there was no santa claus or easter bunny or tooth fairy? Telling children that there is no god is NOT at all psychologically damaging. Lieing to them that there is an after life is! Telling them that someone is watching you or judging you or reading your thoughts is like living in North Korea or a george Orwell book about animals on a farm. Your father told you the truth, good on him. I will tell you I personally have told my 2 kids that there is no god we discuss atheism weekly and my kids read science books, have a telescope, do well in school and are not at all psychologically damaged. Yes when my son asked about santa last year ( he is 7 now) I had to tell him the truth, he didnt cry though and I asked him to not tell his sister who is only 5. The choice wasn't taken away from you in the same way that the choice in believing in unicorns wasn't. Science and facts is not religious indoctrination. Here is where your argument really comes apart at the seams though. You have reduced atheism is a just another belief, where some think there is a god and some do not. Atheism is not a belief, it is the lack thereof. There is no argument for the non belief in Lepracons or elves either, there is no other side of the story to the holocoust no matter what some people believe. There are facts, and trust me my friend there is no heaven, santa, easter bunny, Zeus or Horus, you don't come back to earth as a worm if your were bad, you dont get a planet when you die, there is no magic underwear which helps you decide between right and wrong, there is no hell, no devil, and no gods. I think your dad was a brave and intelligent man, you on the otherside, and I am sorry to say this and I mean it well, sound like you cried a lot as a kid.
Winter (Thursday, 04 October 2012 19:28)
Love this site! My parnter and i were trying 2 wrap our heads around how we explain morals 2 our childern but this site really help
Fast-Eddie (Saturday, 13 October 2012 00:38)
It's really comforting to know that i'm not a minority in being an atheist. I was born and raised Catholic, went to catecism on saturday mornings, church on Sunday when I was growing up. But it's funny how even at the age of 5, I can remember thinking about how christianity just didn't make sense especially since I was TOTALLY into dinosaurs as a kid! As a teen, it just got more and more confusing, nothing I learned in science class was applicable to the stuff they teach at church. I guess I always knew I was an atheist, but when I would question my faith, my parents werent too pleased, so I kept it to myself. Here I am now at 49 years old, with children of my own now, and finding this site really helps with advice I can help my kids with....BTW, my wife is a catholic so there is some conflicting beliefs (or the lack of, on my part)in my house, but I think she's slowly coming around. :)
eighthwonder (Friday, 19 October 2012 18:02)
hi all can you some names for boys and girls which doesn't represent any religion
LeonaG (Tuesday, 23 October 2012 15:00)
Lee - It sounds as though you in fact *were* indoctrinated with some of the God and Jesus fairy tales as a child and were distraught when your parent told you they weren't true.
It's a better idea not to lie to your kids about anything. Don't indoctrinate them with lies about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy or any other imaginary cultural thing (the gods and customs will vary). Don't tell them that if they're bad, Jesus will be angry and after they die, they'll rot in hell, or he'll punish them now. It doesn't happen, and they'll quickly figure that out. Makes me wonder if that's why all the preacher's kids I ever met passed through such a horrendous rebellious stage (and some remained there, forever, as addicts or criminals).
Not lying to them doesn't mean they need to learn the whole entire adult-appropriate truth. Temper the answer to make it age-appropriate, please.
Because what's going to happen when you then try to tell your child, drinking and smoking are best avoided? etc.
You. Won't. Be. Believed.
Olof (Thursday, 25 October 2012 00:32)
Regarding the list of gods: you write Norwegian, though it would be more correct to write Norse or Nordic, as these gods were worshipped in all of the Nordic countries of Europe (Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Iceland, Faroe Islands). See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norsemen
Alex (Thursday, 08 November 2012 00:37)
I do with my kids what my parents did with my siblings and I (Dad is Protestant and Mom is Agnostic)... Don't talk about religion at all! My sister toyed with Christianity (turned Agnostic), I am Atheist, and my brother is Agnostic. My Dad now tries to get me to go to church now that I am old enough to understand on my own without being brainwashed as a small child. Although I think he is the crazy one, I politely decline. :o) My kids talk about God because they have heard about it but there is no telling them what is real and what isn't.. Don't be fooled! They have been brought up with strong morals!!! As have I. :o)
UK Smith (Saturday, 10 November 2012 18:46)
Surely atheism can't be considered 'a lack of belief'? It's a BELIEF that God or gods do not exist. If it was a lack of belief you wouldn't be quite so vocal about it, because you wouldn't see any need to vocalise something that doesn't exist. I believe in the risen Christ, he is the only human who came back to life without human help, and that has never been disproved. I agree, it's faith, because I can't give you solid, physical proof.
Similarly, a lack of belief in any form of spiritual existence blinkers your thinking. You have all decided that you believe spiritual form does not exist. Atheism is a BELIEF, it's a FAITH, because atheism claims far less evidence for its truth than God does; in fact atheism can claim NO evidence.
Lance Gregorchuk (Monday, 12 November 2012 19:31)
@UK Smith: Atheism is non-belief, like the non-belief in unicorns, or elves or lepracons. Just because you think unicorns elves and gods exists does not put us on the same playing field. We vocalise our atheism because of the damage your belief does to mankind. Just to clarify things though, your magic man Jesus is not the only person in history who came back to life, many people have (clinically) died and then been resusitated, it happens every day, thanks to firemen and doctors and paramedics, but I don't think you should go around thinking they are some kind of massiah. We cannot disprove that you have a god, and on the same note, you cannot disprove my refridgerator cannot fly when I am sleeping alone in my house only when noone is looking. I dont have any physical proof it doesnt happen but if you dont beleive that it does does it put us on the same playing field of belief and non-belief because as you know you cannot prove it doesnt happen! If you want to make crazy claims you are the one who requires the evidence, not the person who doesnt believe in elves, gods or flying refridgerators, you need to prove the existance of an event or god, we don't. We can prove that the earth is older then 6000 years (which is documented in your book of fairy tales). We can prove that there was no Noah's flood, that the universe is billions of years old, that there was no Roman census which made Joseph an Marry go to Bethleham to give a virgin birth to a god. Yet do we as atheists really need to prove that there is God Horus, Mithra, Zues or Jesus? NO we don't...you need to prove there is one. Yet what we can do, Mr/Mrs UK Smith is prove that many things which your book of fairy tales says are true, simply are not, we do it everyday and we have the evidence to back it up. Now here is a little advice, the next time you come trolling to a web site preaching lepracons, unicorns, gods or elves... try to show up with some rational argument other then "Well... I just believe my refridgerator can fly"!
Nick (Tuesday, 18 December 2012 03:35)
Love the site guys. This is a great article by a woman who is an atheist, discussing her extremely religious (comically so!) after. It's a good story. Funny and sad at the same time.
Nick (Tuesday, 18 December 2012 03:42)
This is an article by a woman who's an atheist, raised by an extremely (almost comically so) father. It's sad and funny all at once. Give it a read!
http://chaossection.com/2012/12/17/two-faced-jesus/
Sara (Monday, 24 December 2012 07:38)
I'm so glad I came across this site! It's nice to hear so many voices from other like-minded atheist parents out there. Lance, I am really enjoying your comments. You are so spot-on with your retorts. I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, etc. I even married in the same church that I was raised in, although I was definitely questioning my faith at the time. That was ten years ago, and I have since embraced atheism and enjoy thinking logically and marveling at the beauty of nature and the universe. I have three kids, ages 2, 4, and 8. My eldest is very intelligent and is interested in Greek mythology, and I speak about religion openly with her. I see nothing wrong in telling my kids that there is no god, to encourage them to think scientifically and logically, yet to also be kind, respectful people. This evening, my four-year-old asked me who god is and I told him that god is make-believe for grown-ups. He thinks that's silly. Smart little man!
Adrian (Friday, 28 December 2012 23:27)
Hello all, (I wrote a bit too much so I am splitting it into two posts). I have never posted on a site like this before.
Just as a disclaimer, I am not a parent. I just enjoy reading different perspectives on theism and atheism. I myself am an atheist, and have always identified myself as such. I want to share with you guys how I grew up, just to offer another perspective to think about. It isn't that eventful, but it may interest you.
I am 25. I was raised in a semi-troubled household (some abuse/lack of affection) so I have always been skeptical about pretty much everything. People's words, people's actions, people's intentions. You can never fully understand another person. Unfortunately for me I grew up not fully trusting other people, unless they gave me a real reason to trust them.
I am very thankful for one part of my upbringing though, my mother's decisions. My mother had been raised catholic, and she is a fairly intelligent person. She always went to catholic schools growing up (she is 60 now btw) and she always had these questions that nobody could answer. One thing that stood out to me is a story she told me about the day she learned Santa clause wasn't real. She had a fight at school with some girls who said he wasn't. She was in Middle School I believe, and she came home after this horrible day and told her parents about it. Her mom came clean and said that Santa wasn't real. My mom said she felt absolutely devastated. She thought how could my parents deceive me like this? How can I ever trust them? She said because of this moment, she decided to never lie to her kids about santa. Separetely, she said she found the actual establishment of catholicism corrupt, so she separated herself from the religion when she was older and maintains a sense of spiritualism. She does not believe in organized religion.
Because of my mom's experiences growing up, she raised a household without mention of religion. Honestly, I don't think I ever talked with her about the subject until I was in college. There were some residual religious elements, for instance apparently she did baptize all of her kids when they were babies (she did it herself for me I know). Also, every year (and still to this day) we get presents from Santa. She continues the Santa tradition, but does not ever promote that Santa is real. It's just part of the holidays. I love getting my presents from Santa.
Adrian (Friday, 28 December 2012 23:28)
So now I'm going to talk about myself. I never have believed in anything supernatural to my knowledge. My natural skepticism, logic, and general distrust in people (until proven), has led me to never believe something just because somebody says it is. It needs to either make perfect logical sense, or have evidence to back it up. I never believed in Santa even though I was never told Santa wasn't real. It just automically clicked with me as a kid. Something like, "OK, so storybook character flies around the world on a single night to give presents to kids for no apparent reason? Right, that seems possible..". I never believed in Easter Bunny. I always knew the adults hid the eggs. I always knew my mom was the tooth fairy. But I played along because it's just sort of a fun game. A little family play. I didn't even learn of the concept of a god as an actual belief system until elementary school at some point. I immediately dismissed it with the exact same logic that I came up with for every other story book character I had ever heard of.
Once I learned the word "atheist" I immediately was like, "Oh, that's me." I remember telling all my friends in elementary school that I was atheist. Good thing at that point that none of them really cared. I had a period of time in middle school where I got really sad about religion. But not for the same whiny reasons that AGS above mentioned. But because I was so compassionate. I cried for my family and friends who lived their life dedicating themselves to a lie. I cried knowing that they would die believing in this big farce. It's such a waste of somebodies emotions. To love this god. To sacrifice anything for it. Gosh, it makes me sad still if I really think about it. I read of families and friends torn apart because of it. I've experienced broken relationships because of theism vs atheism also.
The strange weird thing about my family is that I am the second youngest of 7 brothers and sisters. Of these 8 kids, to my knowledge I am the only atheist. I think my little brother is agnostic, leaning towards atheism. All but one of my sisters go to church now. My older brother I think has some spiritual belief, but no actual religion. We all grew up with the same parents, but still some of us came out as religious. I've realized it is just human arrogance and natural human desire to want to understand everything, and to want to have eternal lives, and to want to have a "meaning of life". A few years back I mentioned to my dad (who is now 66) I didn't believe in god. He said something along the lines of "I knew I shouldn'tve let your momma raise you without taking you kids to church." They are divorced now, he was the abuser, she was the enabler. He has since asked me to go to church a few times (even though he never goes). I always gave an excuse and he eventually stopped mentioning it.
That's a good summary of my story of how I've been a lifelong atheist. To put it simply, that (supernatural or theistic) stuff never seemed more plausible than any other fairy tail, so it was never a struggle or a revelation. I know I made this a bit too long as I tend to write too much. I hope it will provide another interesting point of view for parents thinking of how to handle their children with this matter.
If I could give some advice (as unqualified as I am). It would be to teach your kids to value logic, evidence, rationalism, and skepticism. Teach them that everybody believes different things because humans want certain things to be true. Teach them that their own beliefs or non-beliefs should reflect how they themselves perceive the world. Teach them about the history of religions. Why theistic mythologies came about in the first place. If they understand why religion came about (lack of understand), why it spread (control over the population), and why it persists (ignorance, or clinging to false hopes/fantasies, or complete lack of logic/brainwashing) Then I think you kids will grow up just fine. My parents didn't specifically teach me these things. But I figured them out. I'm sure you can teach your kids these things in a loving way.
RanchEarth (Sunday, 06 January 2013 04:31)
I am going to homeschool my atheist children because we live in such a radical christian area. Does anyone have a program they would suggest?
Naturalistic (Saturday, 12 January 2013 06:15)
When my mother in laws FAVORITE dog died there was a lot of talk about death. My daughter asked what happens when you die. I told her that nobody knows. She told me (crying)that she didn't want me to die. I told her that I limit sugar and eat lots of vegetables so that I will live a long time. I also told her that sometimes people die young but it's very rare, hardly ever happens. This didn't help much. Next, I told her that if you spend your whole life worrying about death you will not enjoy your life, so try not to worry about it too much because once again nobody really knows what happens after that. She would occasionally bring it up and cry about it but she is a crier. Then It occurred to me to tell her what her dad (totally atheist) would always say to me about the subject
. "The best you can Hope to be is good dirt"
...which I elaborated on to mean that the earth made you out of dirt gave you life and you have to give it back some day. Also at other times I would mention that you and me will turn into good dirt to grow and apple tree that will feed another little girl or boy. So ii love this song by Harry Nilsson called "Think about your troubles" part of song that always gets me happy teary...."and everybody knows that when a body decomposes its basic elements are given back to the ocean, andthe sea does what it outa and soon this salty water". Also described to my two girls 3&5yrs how we all take turns being alive, because otherwise we would run out of places to live (they have to learn a lot about taking turns at this age so this makes a lot of sense to them I've noticed).
I feel like my religion is worshipping nature. She is beautiful and it makes sense to worship her because she keeps me alive, she is my mother, feeding me and clothing me. If we all believed that she was GOD then she would be treated fairly instead of everyone hoping for something better, later, in the afterlife. I don't understand everything about the earth and not everything can be explained by science but I believe that if I take care of it, it will take care of me. Its probably got a name and it's sort of based on aboriginal beliefs. I think aboriginal beliefs were born out of rituals that benefitted everyone and though I'm it native they make a lot if sense.
I was raised Christian until my parents became disillusioned with the reformed church and started their own, but some of the reformed people, came over and started trying to shame and make rules. They gave up on church and thats how I realized that it is your parents belief that shapes you. They are still spiritual but even when we went to church they were very open. When I would ask why he would send eve away for eating an apple that he had put there in the first place,( what was his problem!! )and how did we know the Adam and eve story to be true, my mother would tell me that that's what faith was. After they gave up the church i started thinking about a god that would send you to hell for things that were out of your control and it didn't make sense. If he didn't love me for who I was then i didn't want to be in heaven.
Atheist Chick (Saturday, 19 January 2013 18:12)
Yay for being atheist! Religion sucks!! I'm raising my kids to think logically and realistically and not believe in fairy tales!!! Wooooo
No (Monday, 28 January 2013 05:31)
Okay. That picture with the Buddhist and the Hindu and the Businessman. No. Just no.
No.
Adrian (Monday, 28 January 2013 21:41)
Why No? I am not understanding your reaction, or your reason for your reaction. Please elaborate.
richard (Thursday, 07 February 2013 05:14)
I have a beautiful, intelligent 7 year old daughter. I am divorced and have always been an Atheist. My x-wife insists on taking my daughter to church. The worst of it is that the Sunday school is so inaccurate it is ridiculous. They have taught that Jesus died and was buried then the next day they dug him up, I actually heard them telling this to the children... This week they told her that the stars are all dead people and they are in heaven. Now she is afraid of the stars. My Question is does any one know of an organization that can help me to undo what the “church” is doing to my daughter? If I was say Jewish and the x-wife was catholic my church would teach their version and help to balance the damage. But there is no church of Atheist to go to for help. Anyone have advice? THANKS FOR READING
Richard
Tony (Friday, 08 February 2013 14:14)
i cant believe such levels of hypocrisy exists in this world.
Megan (Tuesday, 12 February 2013 02:51)
hi!! My husband and i are atheist. We never thought our 3 year old son would be dealing with religion issues this young. We live in Florida and we have tried very hard to find a daycare that doesn't claim to be christian based but weren't able to find one. so we found one our son liked and went with that. We thought it wouldn't hurt since we have a private school lined up for him already which he will start at 5. But 3 weeks ago the director of the daycare pulled me a sided and asked why my son knew nothing of prayers at meals, christian songs like "Jesus loves me" and why he looked so puzzled when they asked him who god/Jesus was. i simple told him we we letting him figure out things for him self. Today when i picked him up he was singing jesus loves me, had a picture he painted of a cross, and at dinner just now said "no mommy we have to pray first" i said what? he replied "good boys pray or god will get mad and do bad things to you"..... guess im going to have to pull him out unless you guys have any other ideas? also do you think he will soon forget the ideas they have planted/brainwashed into him? thanks!! ps. he is only 3 but he is very smart. talks in perfect sentences and can hold a conservation better than most 5 y/o's. this is why im soo worried. I dont want hm think there is a man in the sky who will hurt him if he is "bad" as he put it. i also hate when people tell there kids there bad instead of saying "mis behaving"
Hector (Saturday, 16 February 2013 20:07)
Why do we call our self's atheists, why can we not just call them brainwashed.
C B (Sunday, 17 February 2013 01:22)
I would really love it if you could issue both "Born Again Atheist" and "Great Without Religion" as e-books for the Nook through Barnes and Noble, I really would rather read books on my Nook. Hope you consider it!
John (Monday, 18 February 2013 01:32)
@Megan
I feel your pain. I'm having similar issues with my five year old son. He's keeps bringing up jesus and souls and heaven. Turns out his teacher at spanish-language school has been feeding him this stuff. I've told him not everyone believes in God; myself being one of them. I've spent time with him on the internet researching the beliefs of other cultures (he loves Thor because of the Avengers) hoping to reinforce upon him that the Christian God is but one of many superstitions. Research indicates that acceptance of religious beliefs has a significant genetic component. I was raised in a Catholic family but was an atheist by the time I was a young teen. Whether it is preschool or some other venue, your son will be proselytized ... it is the nature of our society. Best advice I can give is to continually reinforce that your son understands the difference between fact and fiction, and hope his genetics predisposes him to be a critical thinker.
Maureen (Sunday, 24 February 2013 02:46)
Where can I get a copy of that children's book? Amazon.com didn't carry it.
sammi (Wednesday, 27 February 2013 18:57)
I believe in jesus christ n no ur wrong ur kids" should be able to grow n have a choice in believe you are guiltyof sin in jesus eye for knowing the truth and still continue not to belive repent" he'll forgive you dont delete an innocent soul for materialize things far as dwelling on the earth eternal life snds better to me more than anything faith believe is all you need" things do get old and man gets old and die off" so when your kids or if they have come to you with the powetful truth how do you go frm their when they find the truth and feel it and belive it will you still deny him? Or will stay attach to this world that one day will be faced by jesus and his father the dead will be called by hus voice!!!the non believers will remain asleep appearing ti be dead already as you dont follow the faith of the good lord... God blesd you your family and the broken souls in jesus name Amen
ADMIN (Thursday, 28 February 2013 08:10)
@Sammi: Please keep your hate mail and hell wishing to the section "Hate Mail and Hell Wishing". I will leave your comment up for a few days though because it is too funny. I am guessing you didn't really pay that much attention in school especially in the grammer and spelling parts, but then again who has to with the afterlife and everything right? Sammi, here is a tip... if you want to hang out with intellectuals, learn how to formulate a full sentence and spell. Maybe your church offers courses for 8 year olds which is about the level you are at right now, not only in your understanding of religion, but also in your ability to formulate an argument. I really hope you don't have kids, I mean for their sake, it must be so embarrassing to have you as a parent. Ramen! (The noodles, I didn't make a spelling mistake)
Sean (Monday, 04 March 2013 03:15)
I am one of the children who hasn't been brainwashed. At school, the other students will not shut up about my atheism. Only a few kids accept my atheism. They've made it their mission to restore my former Christian beliefs. No matter how much the creationists complain, they can't restore it. I'm one of the gifted children, and I'm smarter than most of the people in school. I don't take people who aren't as smart as me seriously. I wish the Christians would just shut their mouths and leave me alone.
Elizabeth McGinnigle (Friday, 08 March 2013 08:46)
Help! My uber- religious ex is going for full custody(again) because I've told my 6 year that in the event something terrible happen, praying will not save you. You need to have a plan, if a bad guy approaches you, run! If he gets you,kick him in the nuts and scream FIRE! If you are close to his face, press your tiny thumbs as far into his eyeballs as hard as you can. Bite. I don't want my son to grow up believing that he may burn in hell for any reason. Can anyone suggest a lawyer in the southeast that has some experience in this?
Azalea (Friday, 15 March 2013 05:26)
Im so glad I found this site,reading your posts reassured me that I haven´t been making any "major" mistakes when it comes to my son and religion :)
As a kid,I much like @Adrian... grew up not really believing all the supernatural stories being told to me,but I played along. My mom always read for me b4 bed and I loved books and stories.I had a very active brain and asked a lot of questions. Before bed my mom also said a prayer with me http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord's_Prayer as a kid I remember it sounding like Chinese (Forgive us our debts? deliver us from evil?.... Whaaaat?) My grandmother always said that prayer with her when she was little so I guess it stuck, other than that same prayer every night there wasnt really any religious pressure in the home,we never went 2 curch but my mom believes in some kind of higher power. She raised me well and taught me 2 be good 2 people and respect the opinions of others,not to steal and all the other things responsible parents teach their children, she also taught me how 2 be responsible and how to work hard,I love her with all my heart. But at a young age I had a million and one questions and few answers. My mom had me when she was 20 and never went 2 college, she worked and provided for us while my dad went 2 school 2 be a carpenter (that led 2 him working long hours).I guess she didn´t really feel like she had the right answers since she usually refrained from answering the tough ones,changed the subject or gave me an answer that left me with even more questions. It wasnt until I was old enough to do research on my own I finally felt like I understood.
Today I am lucky enough to have a 7 year old son who is very much like me. He is a skeptical young man,constantly wondering and thinking. I never know what he´s gonna ask me.
I tried to prepare myself as well as I could to be able to provide him with clear answers. I am an atheist, but I dont tell him what to believe or not 2 believe. I simply educate him about everything he wants to know,helping his mind 2 be free but full of knowledge. We´ve been going to the library together since he started walking.
He learned to read when he was 4 and he is fascinated by space,the earth and pretty much all living things and of course the dinosaurs.
I think I´m doing a good job of teaching him how to be a good person,treat others the way he wants to be treated,form his own opinions, make choices for himself and to use logical thinking.I show him that I love him every day and that there is more 2 life than money and material things.
:)
-Facts are to the mind what food is to the body- EB
Adrian (Thursday, 21 March 2013 18:58)
Good job Azalea!
Kristeen (Thursday, 09 May 2013 01:04)
Hello all! I've read pretty much all these posts, save for the few religious ones that said we were sucking the souls out of our children, or something like that. And I love how in that post the sentence before that was "I'm not trying to make you angry!" Please... the soul you speak of is just our brain activity. And no, I'm not going to suck out my childs brain. Haha
I was raised catholic, went to elementry school with the nuns. My parents never took me to church it was always my grandmother. I prayed at her house before bed and all that fun stuff. When I got older I stopped. I don't think there was a real turning point when I stopped believing. Because how can you stop something that never started?
She was a very smart woman, and it saddens me that till the day she died she believed noahs arc happened. I actually asked her when I was 20 if she really believed it, and she said yes. I was shocked that this intelligent person could believe such a wild fairy tale.
I have my own child now. Hes only a baby(6 mons) but already so curious about everything. I try not to say "no" to touching things unless its dangerous or dirty. He wants to know what it is. Why would I constrain that thurst for knowledge already? We read at least one book a day. Whatever he looks at or touches I say "what is that?" And then tell him.
His father is a christian. Not a practicing one. His mom (my sons grandma) is practicing. She goes to church every Sunday, unless they're out at the cabin. I dont know what her world views are, but shes a nice lady and doesnt seem pushy. I'm going to get my son baptized just to keep the peace. It doesn't matter to me, just a silly tradition.
I will raise him to be a free thinker. It already seems he is, and I will try my best to nurture that. He will know about all sorts of religions and myths, if hes interested. I won't push anything on him. But if my mother in law starts pressing upon him prayer or any other religios ritual I will have to intervene. Talking about what people do and actually doing what other people do are completely different things. Once he reaches an age where he can understand what prayer and religion actually are, he will be neutral.
Robby (Thursday, 09 May 2013 15:05)
This site is so helpful to me even when I'm not even a parent (I'll be 8 next week though, yay!!). My mum and dad and 3 grandparents are all Christians and I worry about my sister who is only 5 and is very accepting of what she is told. She doesn't like to read much and thinks the internet is for games and tv, all her friends are Christian too and so she really doesn't get to see the view of people who don't believe in Jesus etc. I'm not worried too much I think I still believed in God when I was about 5 and I grew out of it but I think because I like to learn things and question things it was easier. She doesn't right now but she likes when I tell her interesting things I read so I think I will do what Wes suggested to Haley and tell her about all different religions and mythologies and who believes or used to believe them. Then she will maybe understand there is so much she is not being told and get more curious. I know I am young to be 'teaching' my sister but my family are all so Goddy they never learned about science or anything or anything else and they think they're better than everyone who isn't like them (Muslim, Jew, gay, stem-cell researchers, whatever else they get told is bad) and I don't want my sister to grow up to be as dumb and judgey as they are so I think I have a responsibility to make sure she knows not everyone is like them. Only good thing about religions is that it can make people happy but my mum and dad are too busy judjing everyone to enjoy it.
I thought about trying to change my parents too since I was worried they would stop loving me or try to change me but I want to be a neuroscientist and that's another thing they think is evil so I will have to tell them eventually. I think I will wait until I leave home and go to uni and for now I will make a diary about all this so I can give it to them to read when I leave and they will maybe understand a bit better.
Anyway, thank you for this site it is very helpful. :)
Robby.
ADMIN (Thursday, 09 May 2013 16:09)
Robby are you seriously 8???? I cannot believe that but will leave your comments up anyway.
Andy (Sunday, 19 May 2013 17:56)
Love this site, I just wanted to say to Kristeen I did the same in having both my daughters christened to "keep the peace". It is something that I now really regret, because, as the priest said to me before hand ( and I should have listened...) this is something that you can't take back - they will always be christened. Your children can make the decision for themselves when they feel ready, and it should be their decision. I now find I'm on the back foot when discussing beliefs with my daughters, as (in my own mind) I've been a bit of a hypocrite.